caliboy93
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Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:28 pm

Any funny personal experiences with this? It can also include takeoffs and landings
 
senatorflyer
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:31 pm

Once with AF after landing in Paris the FA wished us a ‘bad day’ before she corrected herself lol
 
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southwest1675
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:33 pm

Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.
Herb Kelleher 1931-2019
 
bevan7
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:40 pm

Flying a turbo prop in New Zealand in 2004 our post landing message was along the lines of "be careful when opening the overhead bins as shift happens".
 
WayexTDI
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:40 pm

southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.

I know I'm going to be shot for that; but I've never cared for the "funny" WN safety demo. In my opinion, they tended to be too comedy-like and distracted from the message. Plus, many times, it seems that the FA's and some of the passengers were laughing so hard that it was barely understandable.
DL's video safety demos have a little humor in them, but still remain very professional; and extremely understandable.

Again, it's my opinion; no one has to agree with it.
 
BritTraveller
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:45 pm

On a flight from LGW to SJO the captain said, It will be a clear flight to San Jose, California. There were a few cabin gasps before he began laughing
 
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Super80Fan
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:59 pm

southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.


Nope, seems they all retired. My last two WN crews were extremely nice but even those two flights were the exception not the rule. Most WN crews I run into now can't even crack a smile and I get better crews on the legacy carriers, go figure.
RIP McDonnell Douglas
 
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stl07
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:03 pm

BritTraveller wrote:
On a flight from LGW to SJO the captain said, It will be a clear flight to San Jose, California. There were a few cabin gasps before he began laughing

That's a great one. Would have gotten me too.
Interesting how every thread is spammed with "bring back paid membership, there are too many spammers"
 
Yflyer
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:09 pm

On a UA flight maybe 10 years ago the FO announced that those of us with tight connections were allowed to kill and eat the other passengers if they got in our way.
 
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SJL
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:13 pm

Virgin Blue flight PER-SYD in 2007, announcement from cabin crew on final: “ladies and gentlemen, please hold hands for landing”
 
impilot
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:25 pm

After a bad landing “hey folks from the flight deck, that wasn’t the captain’s fault, and that wasn’t my fault, that was just the asphalt.”
 
Shrewfly
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:31 pm

On landing in ATL on a flight from MAN with Delta in the 2000s

We pulled on to the stand and the seat belt signs went off, as always theres that mad crush for the exits, followed by something like this

"Although my colleague has mastered the flying bit of your journey, apparently he's not great at driving it on the ground. As he has stopped us a few feet short of the terminal, and the bridge wont reach the door. So please sit down while the experts with a tug finishes his job for him"
 
OB1504
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:52 pm

There’s this Frontier flight attendant who sounds like he just stepped off the Jungle Cruise at Disney World.

On a recent Delta flight from FLL to ATL I had a flight attendant who struck the perfect balance of funny and serious, which was doubly impressive given that it was a 5:30 AM departure.

I’ve had fun crews on Spirit lately, too. The new focus on customer service training seems to be paying off for them.
 
impilot
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:01 am

This is kind of funny, but more sad and pathetic. That poor FO had enough and decided to record it. Delta clown, Captain George “Hollywood,” has been the subject of several threads (several within Tool of the Day” on airlinepilotforums . https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFeZRNNL6U
 
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Veigar
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:16 am

Few things:

Before departing, the pilot told us to please be patient with something (can't remember) or else we'd be delayed and it would be "all your fault". Landing from ATL to LAS, pilot shouted "Seatbelt check!" after we came to a stop. It was quite windy outside.

Before departing ELP to PHX, the FA said "anyone want to claim this missing item? I heard it's worth a million dollars..."


Both were on WN. I have flown WN 7 times and anything else I can't particularly remember (so it must've not been that great...)

As for friendliness, that's a given, all of the airlines I have flown (A whopping three - WN, SY, and AA) were all friendly and SY was very surprising that the captain kept telling us we were over landmarks such as the Grand Canyon while also going like "I really like this view!" or "I've never visited, but I want to!"

Oh one more thing. At DFW our pilot complained about or original aircraft (an MD-80) sucking and that when we got into another, newer MD-80, he said "now THIS is a good airplane! let's try again, shall we?"
 
smokeybandit
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:24 am

There's the video floating around Youtube of the guy doing his routine using cartoon character voices.
 
Nicknuzzii
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:27 am

I tend to have better and funnier flight crews on ULCCs. Both of my best expierences have been with NK and F9. I have had the pleasure of randomly having the same flight crew on 2 different NK flights. The Spanish guy was very funny and continued throughout the flight. On my F9 flight from PHL- CUN, we had another flight attendant who make jokes about the other flight attendants but not in a mean way. They were both positive fun expierences.
 
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SASViking
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:45 am

I've had 2 that I found hilarious.
The first was on a SAS flight landing in CPH, it was very windy and we had to abort the first landing as it was just a "touch and go" when we finally landed on the second attempt, the F/A announced that it was happy hour at SAS, we got two landings for the price of one.

The second one was on a VIE-INN flight on OS, during the safety demo, the F/A said the following "In case of an emergency landing on water, we've flown the wrong way." When she came to the part about the life vest.
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WN732
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:50 am

southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.


Not true. Flew SMF-SAN last week and the lead flight attendant played jazz during boarding and cracked jokes throughout the flight.
 
bob75013
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:58 am

A DC9 NW flfight from Minneapolis to Fargo.

Setting: the FA and pilot had a funny exchange of "digs" the entire flight .

The pilot did an all time worst 4 bounce landing in Fargo.

The FA got on the PA and announced : Welcome to Fargo. It's 9;32 pm and the temperature is 46 degrees. We're running a special on landings tonight: 4 for the price of 1.

The pilot never opened the cockpit door as the pax exited the plane..
 
N649DL
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:58 am

The weekend after the 2016 Presidential election flying DL in F on MSP-DEN from MCO on an A320. He basically said you can have political differences but please respect each other. This was right after a bunch of flights were having passengers fight each other over politics so I think he was scared of something occurring.

Another funny one was in December 2017 on DL flying JFK-LAX in J on a 763. He comes out of the cockpit and said that 2017 was a great year for Delta and 2018 will be even better and "See you on the ground in Salt Lake City." He then corrects himself and makes an announcement from the flight deck that we're going to LAX instead.
 
SXDFC
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:10 am

southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.



There once was a plane that’s blue, the seats were the same color too, look to your left, look to your right if you get a seat quick we’ll make it out ontime tonight, after you read this, If you only knew , this came from a funny southwest stew that’s directing this at YOU”

;-)
 
Biscayne738
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:12 am

Reno Air MD-80 rough landing. Flight Attendant welcomes us to Las Vegas and says we can all thank Captain Crunch for his fine landing...
 
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GE90man
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:12 am

Yesterday the FA on my Spirit flight to LGA announced we were going to Orlando before he corrected himself a few seconds later. That's about the funniest thing I've seen so far. Also Spirit's die hard efforts to get you to apply to their 9 dollar fare club.
 
rssgvegas
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:19 am

Recently one of my United Pilots referred to his FO as Tom Kazansky and himself as Pete Mitchell.

For those of you don't get the reference, that'd be Iceman and Maverick of Top Gun!
 
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southwest1675
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:21 am

Super80Fan wrote:
southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.


Nope, seems they all retired. My last two WN crews were extremely nice but even those two flights were the exception not the rule. Most WN crews I run into now can't even crack a smile and I get better crews on the legacy carriers, go figure.


I’ll also get shot for this, but I don’t care what some may say, Southwest just isn’t what it used to be. They really seem no different than any other airline. Even in some cases, they seem worse compared to the others.
Herb Kelleher 1931-2019
 
F9LASDEN
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:36 am

I’ve actually heard quite a few on F9 (all from flight attendants):

-Upon landing on a DEN-LAS: “Please be careful opening the overhead bins because...shift happens.”
-Different landing on a different DEN-LAS: “On behalf of Frontier Airlines and Virginia the Wolf on our tail and winglets, welcome to Seattle”
-After safety demo on a LAS-DEN: “So is this anyone’s first time visiting Utah?”
-Landing on yet a different DEN-LAS: “make sure to check the seat back pocket and take your personal items with you. Except cash, Gold doubloons, or snacks, feel free to leave those on the seat when you deplane”
-During boarding on a MCO-LAS: “Place any large carry-on items you brought with you on board such as roller bags, duffel bags, husbands or wives in the overhead bins, and smaller items such as purses, backpacks, briefcases, computer bags, and children underneath the seat in front of you”
-Not necessarily funny, but unique, but at the end of a safety demo on a DEN-LAS just this past Sunday: “We now invite you to sit back, relax, and marvel at the miracle of flight for the next 1 hour and 30 minutes en route to Las Vegas”

Perhaps my favorite, though was upon closing the cabin door on an NK FLL-MCO:
“The main cabin door has been closed, so take a brief moment to finish up that last phone call, text message, email, Snapchat, Facebook comment, FarmersOnly.com, Grindr, whatever you’re into, we don’t judge here at Spirit Airlines, and stow laptop computers and switch smaller electronic devices into airplane mode.”
Spirit of the West...A Whole Different Animal...Low Fares Done Right
 
Gulfstream500
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:45 am

On DL:

FA joked that the flight was going to Vegas when it was in fact going to ATL.

On WN:

FA said “get ready, get set, get out” after landing.

On UA:

Trivia for free stuff. Question was about year of UA CO merger.
What's the deal with airplane food?

Frontier Airlines: Spirit of the west
 
PSAatSAN4Ever
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 2:08 am

Two stories:

#1) Picture it: July 4, 2006. My boyfriend and I were returning to San Diego from visiting family in Minnesota. We flew MSP-DEN-SAN on Frontier.

At DEN, we boarded our final flight, with the middle flight attendant two rows in front of us. As we taxied out, we watched her whole spiel. At the end of the live demo, we heard, "and if there's anything we here at Frontier can do to make your flight more comfortable, please don't hesitate to ask Karen (not her real name), as Susan (also not her real name) and I are just too tired".

We laughed. No one else on the plane noticed.

We got free drinks at free DirecTV on that flight.

It pays to pay attention.

2) TPA-MSY on the first Saturday of Spring Break 2015. The airport is a zoo, but it was constantly moving. No time for breakfast, but we're off to New Orleans.

Our Southwest crew is two sweet older gentlemen, one young woman, and one fabulous senior mama. En route, both gentlemen make announcements that none of us could hear. HIGHLY unusual in my log book, but it was a brand-new N8661A, so I gave it over to perhaps a new-airplane glitch.

After the second sort-of PA announcement, senior mama was having none of that. She got on that intercom, gave that announcement, made our landing instructions perfectly clear, and all with that smile that says, "THIS is how planes are run!". Absolutely loved it!!
 
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ricport
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:17 pm

WayexTDI wrote:
southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.

I know I'm going to be shot for that; but I've never cared for the "funny" WN safety demo.


Put me up against the wall with you, as well. I guess everyone has their idea of professionalism, but mine is not cracking jokes and using the PA for amateur hour. If I wanted that, I'd go to a comedy club. I'm your customer; not your drinking buddy down at the local hole-in-the-wall.

WayexTDI wrote:
Again, it's my opinion; no one has to agree with it.


No need for rationalizations. Everyone here is sharing opinion.
 
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N14AZ
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:38 pm

F9LASDEN wrote:
Upon landing on a DEN-LAS: “Please be careful opening the overhead bins because...shift happens.”

That's really funny!

The funniest announcement I heard was funny for me only when the LH captain said "welcome on this Airbus A320 neo max".
I tried to find out if he tried to be funny or if he simply mixed it up but the flight was too short (FRA => HAJ)...
 
gregorygoodwin
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:40 pm

I recall taking a flight on USAir from Houston Intercontinental to Pittsburgh. We had to taxi around the main terminal to the other side then out to a set of runways that seemed to be way out in the pine woods, it took awhile to get there. The captain announced that we apparently were going to taxi halfway to Pittsburgh and fly the other half. It got a bunch of good laughs out of everyone!
 
Tenaja85
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 7:07 pm

I remember Western Pacific had some funny crews...

Once, during the preflight announcements the attendant said that "anyone caught smoking in-flight would be taken out to the wing for a private showing of Gone with the Wind."

Another I remember was a flight from COS to DFW (I believe), the flight attendant said something along the lines of In the event of a water landing... well, we have bigger issues if we land in water during this flight!
 
citationjet
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Thu Apr 25, 2019 8:31 pm

Many, many years ago, a Captain was welcoming everyone on board. He said that "we have the finest flight attendants in the world, unfortunately none of them are working today's flight". Everyone got a chuckle from that one.

After a rather rough landing, the flight attendant came on and said "Can you tell that our captain flew in the Navy? He was used to having a tail hook, and he always likes to catch that first arresting cable."
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TWA772LR
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Fri Apr 26, 2019 12:29 am

I had a Southwest crew member tell everyone to pit their babies in airplane mode.

I had a Continental pilot tell us once that we landed on the runway thats in a different zip code than the airport (runway 26R/8L).
When wasn't America great?


The thoughts and opinions shared under this username are mine and are not influenced by my employer.
 
N174UA
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Fri Apr 26, 2019 5:44 am

Last week on Delta...SLC-ATL on April 17th:

"Your baggage can be claimed at the carousel within 20 minutes. If it isn't there, check eBay tomorrow morning"

After takeoff...."For those of you on the right side of the aircraft, this section of the rocky mountains offers a unique reflection this time of year. For those of you on the left side...thank you for flying Delta today!
 
Airstud
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Sun Apr 28, 2019 6:55 am

"There are fifty ways to leave your lover, but only six exits from this airplane."
Pancakes are delicious.
 
ConnectAir
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:33 pm

On a Delta Connect flight operated by the now defunct Shuttle America, the FO came on the PA immediately after takeoff and announced that their was a hedgehog on the runway.
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dr1980
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:02 am

On a Canjet flight years ago, the pilot came on the PA and said something like “I’ve had a look at the wings and they’ve got some ice on them, they won’t work too well as is. I think you'll all agree that wings are important for flying so we’re going to go ahead and de-ice before takeoff, apologies for the delay”.

On the ground at FLL, our WS flight was quite late due to a delayed inbound aircraft which hadn’t arrived yet. The outbound pilots were already in FLL and walked over to the window by the gate and said “oh look, we have one of those new invisible 737’s today!”
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Max Q
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Tue Apr 30, 2019 7:04 am

I avoid humor on the PA, some pilots think they’re hilarious, they’re usually not and even when funny it’s guaranteed you’ll offend someone


Keep it professional, I can’t stand cabin crews that think they’re comedians either, really annoying
The best contribution to safety is a competent Pilot.
 
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N14AZ
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Tue Apr 30, 2019 12:00 pm

Max Q wrote:
I avoid humor on the PA, [...] even when funny it’s guaranteed you’ll offend someone

That somehow reminded me of this announcement posted a few days ago by N174UA:

N174UA wrote:
Last week on Delta...SLC-ATL on April 17th: "Your baggage can be claimed at the carousel within 20 minutes. If it isn't there, check eBay tomorrow morning"

Just imagine your baggage does not arrive at the carousel. I guess the FA who made this announcement was pretty sure that no baggage would be lost... I love cracking a joke but given the fact that baggage sometimes gets lost I would never have made such a joke.
 
zrs70
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Fri May 03, 2019 1:31 am

I’ve said this here before, and I will say it again.

1st time you hear the shtick it’s funny.
2nd time it’s stale.
3rd time it’s annoying.

LCC’s can get away with it because they cater to many infrequent flyers that will hear it once. But legacies really should avoid it.
19 year airliners.net vet! 2000-2019
 
directorguy
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed May 08, 2019 2:03 am

Was flying Emirates (don't remember coming from where) and upon landing at DXB the CC doing the arrival announcement veered off script.
He said: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dubai International Airport, local time is XXX and the local temperature is.....oh, umm, well actually I don't know what the local temperature is. Sorry folks! " A lot of people started laughing.
The ME3 tend to have very standardized scripted in flight announcements (usually delivered in semi-friendly monotone) so it was refreshing to hear someone sound more spontaneous and admit they don't know something. The break in tone made everyone laugh.
 
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conaly
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed May 08, 2019 11:27 am

In 2001 I was on Siberia Airlines Tu154M HAJ-OMS. After lineup the flight crew noticed a problem with the airplane and decided to cancel the take off and later the entire flight. While we were rolling back to the terminal, one of the passengers said something like "That's what you get with Russian technology!", whereupon one of the FAs countered with: "American airplanes break down in the air, ours at least on the ground!".
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bgm
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Re: Funniest in-flight announcements?

Wed May 08, 2019 1:20 pm

southwest1675 wrote:
Southwest doesn’t seem to have funny crews anymore.


Guess there must be a Prozac shortage in SWA-Land. Maybe the Disney staff pilfered it. :duck:

I've had a few flights where they say the wrong destination which startles a few people...
A pilot cannot be expected to compensate for a flawed design.

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