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Boston92
Topic Author
Posts: 2606
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:56 am

Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Tue May 27, 2008 8:31 pm

I think that having a fun time with the flight crew just make flying just that much better. I try to have fun with them, and break the ice from all the seriousness that comes along with flying. Here is one I have experienced:

1. On a flight from ORD-LAX on a 757 (United), lets just say we had a very "experienced" set of F/A's. Our flight was delayed about an hour due to weather. We finally board, everyone is in our seats. The captain comes on the PA and makes an announcment, "Folks, first things first. I would like to say I am sorry for the (at this point we all assumed he was going to say delay) extremely old flight attendants that you guys are stuck with for the next four hours. Our flight time is 3 hours and 56 minutes, but it is going to seem like a whole helluva lot longer. And if you could, please tell me if Wilma, our purser, starts acting up again. Thanks!"

The entire flight, was kinda like that, but nothing will ever be as funny as the end. We are on approach on a very windy day in socal, and the captain comes on the PA and does the "Flight Attendants prepare for landing" announcement, but adds "If any of the passengers have any questions on the landing procedures, just ask one of those old bags back there that United calls Flight Attendants."

Well, as I said, it was windy, and the two bozos up front didn't exactly grease the landing. I guess you could say we "bounced". After we exit the runway, the F/A comes on the PA, and blurts out, "All right folks, Captain Kangaroo and his comrad will get you to the gate in a few moments, thanks for having fun with us today, and we hope to see you again in the future." Priceless flight.
 
PanAm747
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RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Tue May 27, 2008 9:41 pm

I can truly say I have NEVER had a flight where at least ONE of the flight crew didn't go out of their way to be funny, extra-polite, or just plain talkative about the business. Not all, but virtually all.

1) Not a "funny" experience, but in 2005, when flying LAX-ORD on a UA 747-400, I mentioned to the flight attendant that I was taking this particular trip JUST to fly this plane. I got the red carpet treatment after that. Most pax on board couldn't have cared less, but I got a tour of just about all the plane including the cockpit afterwards. I ended up seeing that same crew boarding another 747-400 bound for PEK a few days later, and stopped to say hello. They were all just as friendly, and remembered giving me the tour.

2) Returning from Minnesota in the summer of 2006, I was on the last Frontier DEN-SAN flight of the day. During the pre-departure announcements, the flight attendant concluded with, "...and if there's anything we here at Frontier can do to make your flight more comfortable, please don't hesitate to call on Julie, because Carol and I are just flat out too tired!!"

The names have been changed to protect the guilty.  Wink

My partner and I were the only two that even NOTICED what she said, and we laughed out loud.

We got free Direct TV because we noticed.
Pan Am:The World's Most Experienced Airline - P(oor) S(ailor's) A(irline): San Diego's Hometown Airline-Catch Our Smile!
 
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UltimateDelta
Posts: 2233
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:56 am

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Wed May 28, 2008 7:56 pm

In November of last year, I was flying Delta from Savannah to Atlanta. The flight attendant made several announcements as we taxied. Here they are:

"Ladies and gentlemen, in preparation for departure, please make sure your seat-backs are in the upright and obviously most uncomfortable position."

"There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only eight ways to get out of this plane in an emergency, so listen up, y'all hear me?"

"Shortly we will be dimming the cabin lights so as to enhance the beauty of your flight attendants. If you'd like to help, you may also close your window shades to heighten the effect."

This was (so far) the only time I have ever had anyone do this sort of thing, but I wouldn't mind if it happened again!
Midwest Airlines- 1984-2010
 
Boston92
Topic Author
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RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Wed May 28, 2008 10:03 pm

After we landed on an Skywest flight from LAX-SBA, the flight attendant made an announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now arrived at Santa Barbara, and will be taxiing to the gate area for the next few moments. We ask that you keep your seatbelts fastened until the aircraft has stopped at the gate and the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. We also ask that you please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life, but if you MUST, do so in a designated smoking area."
 
BAViscount
Posts: 1977
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:01 am

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Wed May 28, 2008 11:37 pm



Quoting Boston92 (Thread starter):
"Folks, first things first. I would like to say I am sorry for the (at this point we all assumed he was going to say delay) extremely old flight attendants that you guys are stuck with for the next four hours. Our flight time is 3 hours and 56 minutes, but it is going to seem like a whole helluva lot longer. And if you could, please tell me if Wilma, our purser, starts acting up again. Thanks!"

Excellent!!! Big grin

Quoting UltimateDelta (Reply 2):
"There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only eight ways to get out of this plane in an emergency, so listen up, y'all hear me?"

I heard something similar once on a VS flight from JFK-LHR, but without added southern slant!

Over the years I've heard numerous attempts to make passengers laugh by the crew, but the only one that has actually made me laugh was from the captain of an AMS-LGW U2 flight on arrival at the gate at LGW. He basically said words to this effect:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you for choosing to fly easyJet today. I'd also like to point out that as we have a very tight turnaround time before our next flight, we will be taking on large amounts of jet fuel as you leave the aircraft. For that reason, I request that you refrain from switching on your mobile phones until you're well inside the terminal building. Suffice to say that one spark from one of those things could have disastrous effects, and would have us all on our way to a completely different destination!".

Whether what he said was true or not, he caused a collective snigger in the cabin!
Ladies & gentlemen this is Captain Tobias Wilcock welcoming you aboard Coconut Airways flight 372 to Bridgetown Barbados
 
MYT332
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Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Thu May 29, 2008 12:46 pm

I've been asked to post the video I took of a GB Airways captain on a flight I took last year. Some of you may have seen it but here it is again:

One Life, Live it.
 
DABZF
Posts: 1063
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:25 pm

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Thu May 29, 2008 1:48 pm

1)
About to land to ARN on one of the first dark evenings during late autumn.
I was sitting on a cockpit jump seat and the captain asked casually from the F/O
"Do you remember how to land on dark, 'cause I'd forgot!"
F/O turned to the captain looking very bewildered and said
"Hell no... I never could!" then looked at me and said "I hope you do!"
I replies "Well, I've done it in sim once but it's first for everything move along." and raised from my seat.
(At the end the F/O made a smooth landing)

2)
I quess this is old but I found it funny when I heard it first time ATL-DFW on DL.
"Ladies and gentlement it is now time to turn off your electronic devices including mp3 players, mobile phones, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, rasberries as well as cranberries and boysenberries. Thank you."
She certainly knew her berries Big grin
I like driving backwards in the fog cause it doesn't remind me of anything - Chris Cornell
 
Soxfan
Posts: 246
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:50 am

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Fri May 30, 2008 2:27 am

1) While taxiing to runway for takeoff: "Ladies and Gentlemen [this airline] is known for having some of the best-looking flight attendants in the industry....unfortunately, none of them are onboard this aircraft so we will be dimming the lights..."

2) Song: When preparing for landing a flight attendant went on the intercom and had us do some pre-flight stretching from our seats which was pretty funny.

3) Also Song: Song had 752 aircraft in a 3-3 seating configuration with personal DirecTV on this flight. I had plugged my headphones into an audio jack, yet I was getting no television sound. Went a flight attendant came over, she first called another attendant over and told her, "he broke the headset"; when I began to protest, she changed to "oh, now he thinks they're defective." Finally, she broke the truth: I had simply plugged it in to the wrong jack. That did make my flight (as well as my seatmates who ribbed me for the rest of the flight).

I've been fortunate to have friendly crews on most of the flights I've taken, but those interactions are the ones that I can most prominently remember.

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 5):
I've been asked to post the video I took of a GB Airways captain on a flight I took last year.

That video is priceless; thanks so much for sharing it!

Soxfan  Smile
Pilot: "Request push, which way should we face?" JFK Ground: "You better face the front, sir, or you'll scare the pax!"
 
BAViscount
Posts: 1977
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:01 am

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Fri May 30, 2008 2:41 am



Quoting Myt332 (Reply 5):
I've been asked to post the video I took of a GB Airways captain on a flight I took last yea

Sounds like everyone on board had already had a beer or two, else they wouldn't have found his speech quite as unfunny as us sober folks!! Big grin
Ladies & gentlemen this is Captain Tobias Wilcock welcoming you aboard Coconut Airways flight 372 to Bridgetown Barbados
 
NG1Fan
Posts: 329
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:53 pm

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Fri May 30, 2008 11:31 am

My wife and I took our then two year old son SVO-VIE on OS. One of the FAs in Y came over with the obligatory kiddie toy pack before take-off. After the meal service, she returned to check up on us and see how our son was doing. She said she had a little surprise for him. It was a surprise, alright, but not that little. She had this large, over 1m tall stuffed toy bear into which you could insert an arm and make head/mouth move.

She then proceeded to entertain my son and those around us for around 30 min - it certainly made his flight, and ours. Something like that is priceless. It also made we wonder where the hell she got that bear from and how it fitted into a locker.

NG1Fan
 
N747PE
Posts: 82
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 9:47 pm

RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Fri May 30, 2008 11:52 am

When I worked for PE, I was drafted to work a flight on my vacation because of my German language abilities. We had a new Capt. on PE 6 EWR BRU. Everytime we hit the slightest bump he would turn on the bleepen Seatbelt Sign and everyone knows the drill. We didn't have the canned speeches in German so I had to improvised. I have found that Germans love a good dose of sarcasm so after the fifth seatbelt announcement I started to have some fun. Ladies and Gentlemen our brand new Capt. who just had the training wheels removed from his bike at home, does not want his perfect safety record soiled someone getting hurt. For the sake of our timid Capt. please return to your seat and fasten your seatbelt. By the seventh announcement the 43 Germans in C zone were rolling in their seats. By the tenth announcement C zone was quiet as a church while the normal announcements were given in English and French. When I finished the German the C zone pax were laughing so hard it woke the whole plane up. Several of the pax wanted me to start giving the English announcement with the German slant. The lead flight attendant, who shall we say was old school, demanded that I start giving standard announcements. Announcements 11-13 were boring normal but I did get one final triumph. We had to hardstand in BRU so the no smoking the ramp announcement was needed. Ladies and Gentlemen we are happy to arrive in BRU safely and ask that you refrain from smoking until well inside the terminal building. We would hate to have a repeat of the Hindenburg incedent which would blast everyone to Germany faster than any jet could take us.
 
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vhqpa
Posts: 1698
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RE: Funny Flight Crew Experiences

Fri May 30, 2008 3:39 pm

On a recent DJ flight I had

- "We will be dimming our cabin lights for your intimate experience, please feel free to hold your seat partners hand" Gee If only I would have hit the jackpot.

later after landing on the same flight

- "Please be carefully when retrieving your items from the overhead lockers as in all things in life shift happens".



Vhq
"There you go ladies and gentleman we're through Mach 1 the speed of sound no bumps no bangs... CONCORDE"

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