Prefer To Be Addressed By First Name Or Last?

zrs70 · Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:51 pm

Do you prefer it when Airline agents address you by first name or by last name?

On the phone, when they answer with their names, do you refer to them by first name or last name?

I tend to always call them "ms/mr" on the phone. I feel it sends a tone of respect that can go both ways. So if they answer, "thank you for calling united, this is Angela smith...", I usually say, "good afternoon, ms smith. Can you pull up a record for me? The PNR is abcdef."

It rarely happens on United (my go to airline). But other airlines often refer to me by first name. It often comes across as just a bit too cozy, and sometimes even pejorative (especially if the agent goes into lecture mode). But it could be my own neurosis!

readytotaxi · Sat Jan 24, 2015 6:03 pm

I guess this is going to vary by country, I personally like first name terms from the start.

DocLightning · Sat Jan 24, 2015 9:49 pm

When my relationship with someone is purely business/formal and I am the customer, I prefer to be "Mr." or "Dr."

Also, when they use my first name they typically use my full formal first name, which only my mother uses in real life. Everyone else calls me by my nickname. So when an agent on the phone uses my full formal first name, I just find that disconcerting.

Similarly, when I am at work and dealing with my patients' parents, I call them "Mr." and "Ms/Mrs." and I introduce myself as "Dr." (My patients, being kids or young adults under 22, I address by first name). My colleagues and coworkers (even my assistants) I ask to call me my first name because we work together.

I'm a big fan of personal/professional separation.

spacecadet · Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:08 am

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 2):
I'm a big fan of personal/professional separation.

Generally I am too, especially with phone, ticket and gate agents that you might only talk to once or twice for 2 or 3 minutes. There's no reason for them to try to force an overly familiar relationship on you by referring to you by first name only. They're not your friends; they're workers you're paying for a service. I've never really had someone try to do that, though; I wouldn't complain if they did (I'm not *that* stuffy), but I'd just see it as the obvious tactic that it is. It would strike me as something intended to disarm me of any problems or complaints I might have, by making it *seem* like the worker is my friend. If I did happen to have a problem, though, that presumptuousness would actually make things worse.

Flight attendants are sometimes a little different; you're often around them for hours at a time and sometimes you do get into long conversations with them that aren't strictly professional. I can't remember if I've ever had one call me by my first name but I wouldn't mind as much if they did, and I wouldn't see it as something that wasn't genuine.

I guess my line is just what the nature of the relationship really is. Gate and ticket agents don't really spend enough time with you to be on a first name basis, so it would strike me as forced. Flight attendants *can* get friendlier over the course of a 14 hour flight.

ElanusNotatus · Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:34 am

Here in Australia it is common to address people by their first name but not universal in business.

When I recently phoned Emirates I was welcomed with the words, "Good day Mr [surname] , my name is [first name]. How may I help you?"

Later during the transaction, the customer service officer asked, "Do you mind if I address you by your first name?

As she had introduced herself by her first name I could see no reason to object. But I did appreciate the courtesy of her asking.

jetblueguy22 · Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:40 am

I prefer to be called by my first name. I'm still young enough to where I feel a bit funny when people call me Mr Sullivan. In my mind Mr Sullivan is my father, not me.

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 2):
Also, when they use my first name they typically use my full formal first name, which only my mother uses in real life. Everyone else calls me by my nickname. So when an agent on the phone uses my full formal first name, I just find that disconcerting.

I feel the same way. Gives me flashbacks to high school and my misspent youth.
Pat

Airstud · Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:49 am

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 2):
My colleagues and coworkers (even my assistants) I ask to call me my first name because we work together.

Hmmmm... when I was a young adult most of my jobs were in hospitals/medical places and everyone would call doctors "Dr soandso" - even their pals, fellow doctors would do it. I thought it was the standard practice because it importantly identifies them as docs (the white coats alone didn't do it as lots of lay employees seem to wear those as well).

FlyingSicilian · Sun Jan 25, 2015 5:22 am

Last/Sur/Family name not first name. I do not like the forced familiarity

I will add that I have never used my first name and go by my middle or its nickname, as do many in my extended family, so I often do not react to my first name.

I always know it is bill collector calling or something when someone asks for me by my first name LOL.

That being said, having been a military office in a multinational environment, someone who worked around politicians, and someone who worked with many doctors (M.D.s) I tend to used titles/ranks/honorifics often.

YMMV of course.

AR385 · Sun Jan 25, 2015 5:26 am

Quoting readytotaxi (Reply 1):
I guess this is going to vary by country,

Indeed.

Here it is a bit more complicated. More than Mr. or Ms, (Señor last name, Señora last name) the usual is to be addresed by your professional title. If you are a "Licenciado", kind of the BA degree in the US, it would be "Hello, Licenciado last name." If you have a Graduate degree, such as a PhD. you will be addressed as "Doctor last name" even though your degree may have nothing to do with medicine.

If you have no title whatsoever, and it is known, you will be addressed as "Señor last name" or if you appear to be in your late 30s it will be "Don last name".

The only time someone will address you by your first name would be if it is a professional, business meeting between equals. But on the phone with a res. agent? Never. It is considered very disrespectful if you arrive, say at check in and the agent addresses you by your first name. Especially if that person is younger. Will never happen.

In most other countries in South America you will always be adddressed as "Doctor last name" whatever your title is.

Myself I don´t care. Although I prefer the "Mr. last name" initially, but I don´t care about the title. As said before, professional distance is important. If they ask if they can address me through my first name, I will say yes.

LTU932 · Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:34 am

If you're in Germany or any German speaking nation, being addressed by your first name is usually considered rude if the person doesn't know you personally and you don't allow it. So I'd expect from an airline agent in German speaking countries to address me by my surname. If I'm in the US, the UK or in Costa Rica, I'd allow people to address me by my first name, although in Costa Rica they may add a "Don" before your name (always as long as they're professional about it). It's all about what country you are.

icelander · Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:43 pm

Here in Iceland you address everyone by their first names, even for example when you are the tea lady and you are addressing the managing director of your company.

In fact, the phone book is sorted by first name (ok... maybe the only country in the world to do this?)

LOWS · Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:25 pm

Quoting icelander (Reply 10):
In fact, the phone book is sorted by first name (ok... maybe the only country in the world to do this?)

I think that has more to do with Icelandic naming traditions than anything.

In Austria, the further west one goes, the more relaxed people are about "Sie" (formal) "Du" (informal). Nevertheless, I fully expect when I am at the airport to be addressed formally. There are exceptions, for example, when I go to the bank and I know the banker, and he greets me formally and then we switch to the informal.

There are whole books written on this problem in German...

LFutia · Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:46 pm

I would prefer to be paged as Mr. last name and then when I approach use my first name.

Leo/ORD

Viscount724 · Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:47 am

Definitely the last name. Addressing someone you don't know well by their first name, at least in Europe, is considered very rude.

AAlaxfan · Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:50 am

I will politely tell them to call me by my first name.

bunumuring · Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:53 am

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 2):
I'm a big fan of personal/professional separation.

I am totally the opposite.
I refuse to be called by anything other than my first name by my staff. I have a title that has to be used by certain 'clients' but I wouldn't let anyone use it if I had a choice.
However...
I am totally professional and always use the title and surname of someone I encounter professionally for the first time. Upon meeting them, I ask them to call me by my first name and NOT title and surname, and use a two-handed shake because that's just me. It's then up to them to decide if I call them by first or title/surname...
I am always being lectured about personal/professional separation by people, be they friends, colleagues or superiors, but I have to be me....
... And yes, I think it may be more 'casual' overall in this sense here in Australia.
Cheers,
Bunumuring.

dc9northwest · Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:08 pm

About 90% of people mispronounce my last name at first (though some do ask how to pronounce it rather than straight up butchering it), so I prefer to go by first name.

To me, last name sounds like you're back in school again.

I prefer the Icelandic addressing tradition--your name is (First Name). I've always wondered what happens to Icelandic people whose father is unknown. I bet that's happened before...

icelander · Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:57 pm

Quoting dc9northwest (Reply 16):
I prefer the Icelandic addressing tradition--your name is (First Name). I've always wondered what happens to Icelandic people whose father is unknown. I bet that's happened before...

In that case, it is common these days to use the mothers name.... so, for example, Anna, daughter of Helga Jónsdóttir would be Anna Helgudóttir.

Icelandic names are fun... I remember taking the first easyJet flight from KEF to LTN, and being interrogated by immigration why my daughter didn't have either of her parents surnames

agrflyer · Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:08 pm

It does not matter to be called after my first or family name. Outside of any German speaking country it is quite hard to spell / say my family name. That is why I always ask people to call me after my first name

einsteinboricua · Tue Jan 27, 2015 6:14 pm

It depends. The downside to my name is that I'm einsteinboricua Jr, while my dad is einsteinboricua Sr. Out here in the states it's not so bad because there's no one else named like me. When I lived with my parents, however, I'd hate the fact that they'd ask for einsteinboricua and not distinguish between Jr and Sr despite both having a different maternal last name, which is why if I ever have a son he won't be einsteinboricua III.

Anyway, to me, it doesn't matter as long as the situation merits it. I don't mind people calling me by my first name, though if I've requested service (like speaking with an agent via phone, chat, or snail mail) I expect to be addressed by Mr *Last Name*.

I don't have a nickname nor do I have a title other than the default Mr. Sure I can call myself engineer, but who here says I'm Engineer *Name*?

n757kw · Wed Jan 28, 2015 3:42 am

In Indonesia I am forever Mr. Charles since many Indonesians go by 1 name with no family name.

N757KW

aerorobnz · Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:40 am

On both sides of the coin as provider and receiver I use "Mr/Mrs/Ms" until I am invited to use otherwise. I hate informality when it comes to customer service - especially Hotels and Airlines.

mariner · Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:20 am

Quoting ElanusNotatus (Reply 4):
Here in Australia it is common to address people by their first name but not universal in business.

In relentlessly egalitarian New Zealand, last names are almost a thing of the past.

I don't mind (well, I do, but it's pointless) being called David, but I really, really resent being called Dave. Called me David, call me Sailor - call me Sh*thead - anything but Dave.

"Spark" (Telecom) was the worst offender, no often how often I complained. So I wrote to the CEO. A letter of grudging apology came back - "we are sorry that you are offended by our desire to conduct business pleasantly" - but assured me it would not happen again.

Now they all call me Da-vid putting the stress on the second syllable. You can't win.

mariner

LOWS · Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:26 am

Quoting mariner (Reply 22):
"we are sorry that you are offended by our desire to conduct business pleasantly"

You mean you don't want to be the Telecom's friend!?

Shocking.

coolian2 · Wed Jan 28, 2015 8:02 am

Always always call me by my first name. Unless I'm being paged, in which case my last name is probably going to be useful.

Maybe because in my near 27 years on this earth I've been an utter pillock, but getting 'Mr' indicates trouble afoot.

spacecadet · Wed Jan 28, 2015 8:06 pm

I guess it probably also depends on a person's age in addition to region. I don't just mean it's generational either, I mean it changes as you get older. When I was a kid, it would have seemed very, very strange to be called "Mr. (last name)". For a time I had a stepmother from a rich family and some of them called me "Master (last name)" even as a child, which I absolutely hated.

At a certain age that's hard to pinpoint, it became more appropriate for non-familiar people to address me as "Mr. (last name)" than by first name, and I came to expect that.

In Asian countries this is practically codified - in Japan, for example, if you're older than a person you can refer to them as "-kun", but if you're younger or unsure of the age difference you have to refer to them as *at least* "-san", if not something more reverential depending on how much you know of their status or position. Obviously America is not quite that rigid, but I still feel like there's an age difference in how *most* people prefer to be addressed here. I do think it's strange to refer to a young person by last name, but a bit rude to refer to an older person by first name unless permission is granted to do it.

Thunderboltdrgn · Wed Jan 28, 2015 9:09 pm

Quoting ElanusNotatus (Reply 4):
Here in Australia it is common to address people by their first name

It's the same here. Sweden is a quite informal country and people are addressed by either first name
or full name. You never or very rarely see Mr firstname lastname on an envelope or etc.

You can read more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du-reformen

DocLightning · Thu Jan 29, 2015 12:20 am

Quoting Airstud (Reply 6):

Hmmmm... when I was a young adult most of my jobs were in hospitals/medical places and everyone would call doctors "Dr soandso" - even their pals, fellow doctors would do it.

And that's what happens around here. But I discourage it. If I use another adult's first name, usually that means they can use mine.

But I do ask my staff to refer to me to my patients as "Dr."

Now, when I go to the doctor, I introduce myself by first name. Then I always make a point (if it's a new doctor) of telling them that I am also a doctor because I think it's polite. I hate it when I find out halfway into a visit that my patient's parent has a medical education. At that point, the default is that we are on a first-name basis because we are both physicians.

Many of my staff have come to a middle ground of calling me "Dr." and then my first name, which is fine because a lot of my friends call me that, too.

VapourTrails · Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:40 am

Quoting zrs70 (Thread starter):
Do you prefer it when Airline agents address you by first name or by last name?

On the phone, when they answer with their names, do you refer to them by first name or last name?

Last name sounds (too) formal, and on the aircraft they always read out whatever is on the boarding pass when it is presented, omitting the first name. Ms ... On the phone, well I do Internet bookings but when I have called (when I have a problem or non-Internet must-call query) they use last name, same way as above.

Whatever they want me to use for them, I will. If they ask me for a preference for myself, I will say first name.

I don't have any titles or letters after my name, and I have a habit of not using my second name unless I have to (too much information when not necessary). I am referring to travel domestically without a passport here though, internationally is different.

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