Airliners.net

This one has to be at the top of my list:

DEN UA /OV DEN245040/TM 1508/FL370/TP DC10/TB MDT/RM MDT MTN WAVE 1ST OFFICER HAD WHITE CAPS IN COFFEE FM ZDV

Decoded:
Denver CO [DEN]: pilot report
at 40 nautical miles on the 245° radial of Denver [DEN VOR] at 8:08am MST (1508Z), at flight level 370 a McDonnell-Douglas DC-10 (KC-10 Extender, KDC10) reported moderate turbulence ... {moderate, MDT} mountain wave 1ST OFFICER had WHITE CAPS in COFFEE from Denver Center (Longmont CO)

UACN10 CYZP 072056 VR
UA /OV YZP 2056 FL ON GRD /TP B462 /RM
"RSC RWY 99 PERCENT BARE AND WET 1 PERCENT GOOSE POOP"
//YXT FSS




2H4

HA! Those are hilarious! You don't need to worry about getting in trouble if you file a PIREP like that? I think I may have some new phrasology comming for future PIREPS...

-Sam

This isn't exactly a PIREP but it was in the remarks section of an ATIS at MHT a few years ago. My friend wrote it down and I'm just going to guess the vis. and clouds from memory, they're approximate:


KMHT 291653Z AUTO 34004KT 1/2SM BKN004 OVC009 06/M02 A2999 RMK VISIBILITY GETTING PRETTY [EXPLETIVE DELETED RHYMES WITH PRETTY]

Here are some other interesting ones:

PRC UA /OV LRU-VGT/ TM1630/ FL220/ TP MU2/ RM PICKED UP A FULL LOAD OF ICE FL220-230 E OF LAS MORE THAN GOD ALLOWS


CDC UUA /OV SLC-CDC/TM 0332/FLUNKN/TP E120/TB CONT MOD OCNL SEV BLO FL260/RM HAD SOME SCREAMERS IN THE BACK


BOI UA /OV BOI090100/TM 0135/FL065/TP P28R/TB NEG/RM PILOT SAID "IT JUSTS LOOKS FUNKY"


CIC UA /OV CIC/TM 1554/FL070/TP C340/SK BASES 070/RM POCKETS OF MIGRATING GEESE ON TOPS OF LAYER NORTHBOUND


SAN UA /OV MZB330010/TM 2215/FL030/TP UKN/RM BLIMP W/ METAL CAGE FLOATING NW OVR SAN (ESCAPED SEAWORLD)


HND UA /OV HND 225016/TM 1630/FL025/TP UNKN/WV 20020G32/RM OG 0L7 PERSON REPORTS "HAWK FLYING BACKWARDS=


SMX UA /OV GLJ/TM 1637/FL045/TP P28A/TB NEG/RM "SLICKER THAN SNOT"


SUN UUA /OV HLE/TM 2107/FL120/TP SW3/SK IMC/IC SVR/RM ACFT ENCOUNTERED SVR ICING CAUSING BOTH ENGINES TO STOP, ABLE TO RESTART




2H4




[Edited 2006-01-29 18:37:03]

I just thought of another one I saw on the WSI computer once. My instructor and I were standing there looking at the PIREPs because it was pretty bumpy that afternoon and we were trying to decide if going up was going to be worth it or a waste of time. We made the decision to not fly when we came across one with the remarks of

WORST DAY IN 40 YEARS OF FLYING

I heard ATC ask a GA pilot how his ride was since he was in an area of TRW and he replied "well, I'm not sorry yet".

I made a pirep once for moderate turbulence while flying a seminole. I asked the controller to add the remark "ouch" (and was laughed at) and then proceeded to explain that I just hit my head on the ceiling. I dropped the seat height a little after that.