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krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:19 am

Well a very warm welcome to you ladies and gentlemen. Here marks a new chapter in the illustrious career of the controversial KrisworldB777.

I retired from writing trip reports many years ago. In fact, I retired before Zimbabwe adopted decimal currency. While I enjoy the monotony of reporting mundane details of intercontinental air travel, I do not care for photography within aircraft cabins. This is for two reasons. First, because I have a passionate distaste for taking photos within an aircraft, as the more unkind people around me are certain to label me a freak. Second, and more importantly, I am an abysmal, hopeless, failed, untalented fool when it comes to photography. Regardless of my camera, the location or indeed my efforts, I take woeful photographs that would be welcome only in Paris’ dreary yet strangely inspiring Louvre. I am pleased to report the consistency of my photographs remains in tact for this report.

May I repeat, in the simplest possible terms, the photos contained herein are absolutely appalling.

As an extended background to this report, I did not want to embark upon this trip. Originally, I had planned to make this an exciting expedition with a group of friends, yet this fell tragically by the wayside. I procrastinated for as long as I could, but only the day before travel did I actually confirm my flights, aboard my beloved Singapore Airlines.

Check-in
Arriving for check-in at Perth International, I was again inspired by the uniqueness of Perth’s International Terminal. While I am an ardent critic of this dismal, and may I say embarrassing facility, notable improvements have been made, particularly outside of the terminal. These enhancements, whilst minor, have enhanced the traffic flow of the airport considerably.

Heading to SIA’s Business Class check-in, I immediately thought I was going to be in for a long wait, behind an enormous gaggle of babbling Singaporeans. This was not to be, however, as it turned out this congregation of 16 was part of the one family. I was shocked at the fertility of the elegant mother, as it is universally known that Singaporeans do not much care for intercourse. Alas, Lee Kuan Yew’s poster girl is here and waiting; legs splayed.

Upon reaching the check-in counter, I was met by a lesbian covered in tattoos and piercings. I was compelled to ask if she was from Niugini given her flair for artistic modifications to the body that can only be mirrored by young, twenty-something Asian boys who feel compelled to make their Honda Civics into Lamborghini Murcielago competitors. Her artistic temperament was obviously relegated to the backburner today, as she handed me my boarding pass within 90 seconds, without indulging in any form of tree-hugging hippy behaviour.

Moving on to passport control, I was again impressed at the advancements in Perth. In the queue for only five minutes, yes that is five minutes, was a refreshing experience. Despite this, however, I was inflicted with a group of Chinese tourists travelling in a group. Now I love Chinese people: that aromatic blend of oyster and soy sauce is one of life’s true pleasures, and their contribution to cuisine is beyond comparison. I wasn’t feeling quite so compelled to reach out and embrace these funny little people today, least of all with an all-encompassing hug. I dislike peasants, and my thoughts are well documented on this dire subject. And these people were peasants. I say this for three reasons: first, one man took great pleasure in spitting on the admittedly hideous carpet. Two, one couple was having a screaming match about something serious—I suspect they were trying to decide on which vegetables to select at the market the next day. Third, they decided to push me out of the way and run toward the counter when it was my turn, another clear sign of China’s growing importance in international politics. Nevertheless, I made it to the front of the queue without further adieu and proceeded to security screening and beyond.



Silver Kris Lounge
Despite being about as inspiring as Gordon Brown, Perth’s Silver Kris is a relatively peaceful place to be. It is devoid of character. It is devoid of any mod cons and the food is dreary, like something you’d get on a picnic when your wife is punishing you for bad sex you gave her the night before. Nevertheless, it’s a dark and private oasis which is fairly relaxing, and the quality of the mediocre food is actually quite good. In fact, I’d say the sushi is among the best in Perth. I was, however, troubled that I had entered a morgue: the lounge was full of old men who really should have died about 400 years ago, rather inflicting that hideous old person smell among younger, more sprightly individuals such as myself. After about five glasses of red wine, I decided to board, hoping to escape the smell of death.

Airline: Singapore Airlines
Flight: SQ 226
Scheduled Departure: 1555
Actual Departure: 1600
Scheduled Arrival: 2115
Actual Arrival: 2125
Aircraft: Airbus A330-343X
Registration: 9V-STH
Delivered: 28/05/2009

Boarding

Today’s flight was to be operated by the newest A330 in SIA’s fleet: 9V-STH. At the door to welcome passengers was the Indian Leading Steward and Chief Stewardess. I was welcomed aboard very warmly, and by name, and directed to Seat 14A which is smack bang in the middle of the Business Class cabin. Upon reaching my seat, I found a woman, which was a truly shocking revelation. Indeed, I had just met the Queen of Yorkshire. Decked out like some naff lower middle-class Doris, my companion clearly considered herself infinitely superior to those around her, decked out in her shiny vinyl-look-a-like leather jacket to complement her peculiar floral dress as she rummaged through her Louis Vuitton rollaboard. Feeling gentlemanly, no doubt thanks to my British origins, I gestured to help the lady stow her luggage in the overhead compartment, to which she snapped “No! I am quite capable of doing so myself!” Alas, my companion was graduate of the Germaine Greer school of public policy, brainwashed into thinking that she was actually a capable human being.

The Seat
I don’t much like SIA’s New Business Class seats which can be found on the A330s and the newly refitted 777-300s. It must be said that these seats are an enormous improvement on the dinosaurs that preceded them, yet they are still not of comparable quality to the Qantas Skybed, let alone SIA’s stellar class-leading New Business Class found on the A380 and 777-300ER. My primary gripe is the footwell area which, when the seat is reclined, is severely cramped. As someone with large feet, and yes, I can confirm the stereotype about large feet is correct, I cannot actually place my feet in a vertical position, having to flatten them at a 90 degree angle to the seat. Moreover, I think the seat lacks useful storage options. If any of you drive a modern BMW, you’ll know what I mean. Lots of storage compartments that are there for show: all form without function.

Moving to the positive, the leather is supple. I understand it’s the same as what Audi uses. While I’m not a great fan of Audi’s leather in its non-Nappa equipped cars, this seems to be an excellent grade. The tray table is also excellent—it is huge and a one-piece folding affair that moves in just about every direction you could want it to move. It’s the karma sutra of inflight tables.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/24.jpg



Departure
At our scheduled departure time, our Captain made an address to provide some details. I am guessing this as I haven’t the faintest clue what he was saying. As he rambled on in some incomprehensive Hokkien dialect, I imagined where this taxi driver had come from. It took a mere seven seconds for me to envision thi Coffee Shop Unker, working in a hawker centre, serving mee goreng and other great Singaporean dishes to largely unappreciative customers. He could have been telling me he was responsible for the Nagasaki bomb, but I really would have no clue. Nevertheless, I thought it appropriate to congratulate the man on having become a Captain with the world’s leading airline, I suspect in recognition of his spectacular dumplings in his previous life.

Pushback
Late. Disappointing, but I suspect it was because the Pilot was trying to decipher what the instruments meant due to Airbus’ gross insensitivity of not providing Chinese characters for its instruments. The official reason given was the late arrival of the aircraft, but I wasn’t particularly impressed at this, as the inbound flight had only arrived four minutes late, yet we departed almost 15 minutes late. The Indian Leading Steward was particularly friendly on the ground. Seeing my empty champagne glass, he commented “I don’t like seeing an empty glass, please Mr Krisworld, have another champagne”. Aaah, my sort of chap. After take-off drink orders were taken, and I settled upon the excellent Heartland Shiraz 2005. The ground staff climbed aboard the Rolls Royce Trent 700s and wound them up, after which time we were underway for sunny Singapore.

Ascent
The ascent was rough, yet the sky was littered with clouds of inexpressible beauty. As we reached 25,000 feet, the seatbelt signs were extinguished and the Singapore Girls were released from their harnesses to begin the service.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/58.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/57.jpg

Food
First off, the delightful Leading Stewardess Jennifer came around with my Shiraz and the satay service. I’m a great fan of satay, and it is generally something SIA does quite well. Today, however, the satays were absolute rubbish. Tough and dry, they were hardly impressive.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/29.jpg

This was to be the unfortunate consistency of the overall meal service. The starched white tablecloths were then placed on the table, along with the starter which was a perfectly satisfactory Caesar Salad with smoked turkey and parmesan. I don’t care much for salad, as I don’t really consider myself a rabbit, but as salads go, this was alright. The appetizer was accompanied my garlic bread which was, well, garlicy, in a nice garlicy sort of way. Having had two glasses of champagne, the Queen of Yorkshire passed out, snoring like a Labrador. I suspect she wasn’t used to bubbles.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/34.jpg



For the main course, I selected the Braised Veal with baby vegetables and truffled linguini. Captivated, or should I say seduced by SIA’s sensuous description, I had high hopes for Matt Moran’s signature dish. But it was an abomination. A disgrace. An insult. A hideous slab of tasteless, dry beef devoid of any redeeming feature whatsoever.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/61.jpg

The Queen of Yorkshire, along with the affable Scotsman in front were equally appalled, and each of us sent it back. In its place came Grilled Lamb Chops with thyme juice, that had spent far too much thyme under the grill.



Moving onwards and upwards, I decided to play it safe b ordering my beloved Connoisseur Vanilla Bean Icecream. Superlatives inadequately describe the brilliance of this icecream. I can only say it was beautiful, and I decided to make up for the dismal main courses with two tubs, following which I enjoyed a very good cheese plate, which the Queen clearly did not enjoy.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/docpepz/SQ226/79.jpg



Crew
Today’s flight did not have an In-flight Supervisor aboard. Instead, the Business Class cabin was manned, or womaned for Germaine’s graduates, by a team of distinguished senior crew: 1 Chief Stewardess, 2 Leading Stewardesses, a Leading Steward and a Flight Stewardess who spent most of her time in the galley. Such a ratio is unusual for SIA, but the effects were clearly shown in the service interactions throughout the flight. Let me say, in my most acerbic voice, this crew was textbook outstanding. When SIA service hits the mark, they hit it spectacularly. Chief Stewardess June and Leading Stewardess Jennifer were just stellar. Regardless of my location within the cabin, these girls would always address me by name, and also other fellow passengers. They were everything the Singapore Girl brand is built upon. Leading Stewardess Jennifer was a jewel: charming, fabulously delicate and perfectly presented, just like a custard cake.





What really impressed me was just how attentive the crew complement was. For example, a young, and strikingly beautiful stewardess from Economy was passing through the J cabin to the forward galley. While must crew would consider this a transit, this fabulous stewardess continued to service along her journey, clearing plates and taking requests from passengers, despite this clearly not being her area for today’s flight. The SQ ethos to service encapsulated in one seemingly simple gesture

My glass was constantly refilled with my beloved Shiraz, as was my water. Service-wise, they were faultless. If I could make any suggestion, it would be to adopt this strategy of two chief stewardesses instead of an in-flight supervisor forever. It worked brilliantly.

Entertainment
I don’t usually spend much time using the IFE system, despite Panasonic’s ex2 being a particularly brilliant system, so I chose to listen to the melodic tunes of the HillTop Hoods, MGMT and Empire of the Sun instead. The noise cancelling headsets on SIA are rubbish, and it is high time they used branded headsets in Business Class. Though I do admit I’m an obsessive audiophile who demands impeccable sound quality—hence my love for Bang & Olufsen—I did not consider the constant cracking from the headsets to be satisfactory as it almost caused me to end up in the asylum. I was, however, very disturbed at the speed of this particular A330-300. After three hours of flying, this dreadful machine had carried us only two kilometres, according to the obviously accurate entertainment system.









The flight continues
Following eleven glasses of that glorious Shiraz, I was not drunk, as that is an unpleasant and undignified term, I characterise this as feeling tired and emotional. I decided to rest a little, and slept for a good two hours, fairly comfortably, though at times I did worry whether my feet would get permanently lodged in the tight crevice. As soon as I awoke, the lovely Leading Stewardess rushed to offer me a water, and gave me the elusive comment form I had previously asked for. As she did that, Captain Unker came over the PA to announce our descent into Singapore, and we made a fairly smooth touch down, before proceeding to Terminal 2, which is very rare for SQ 226 as usually it operates onward to Japan.

Arrival
Terminal Two looks like my poo. It’s a dreadful terminal, though I don’t really want to characterise my excrement in such negative terms, least of all in public. Terminal Two isn’t efficient, it’s just a time warp, especially after the dizzying heights reached by Terminal 3, whose interior design was crafted by the convicts of Australia, I might add. I reached the baggage terminal about 10 minutes after arrival, and the last bag was already on the belt. I collected mine and I was away. As stress and fuss free as any trip can be.

Conclusion
As is quite evident, Singapore Airlines is a dreadful airline with no redeeming feature. The new Regional Business Class seats are mediocre, the food could possibly have killed me, and possibly will this evening. What’s more, the flight did not leave on the dot. Yet this flight was just superb. This crew was among the finest I’ve seen in my many years of flying: they were just fantastic. Yes, I can niggle about small things here and there, and yes, certain aspects of the trip were not up to scratch. Yes, other airlines have better hardware, and they are also considerably cheaper. Yet when the quality of service is this good, it’s impossible to complain but rather congratulate Singapore Airlines on delivering the experience which they promise and are admired for, and that doesn't always happen.

When SQ hits the mark, they hit it spectacularly.
 
greg99
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:00 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regiona

Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:40 am

I enjoyed your TR enormously, thank you.

I believe this to be the finest single sentence I've ever read in a TR:

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
It is devoid of any mod cons and the food is dreary, like something you’d get on a picnic when your wife is punishing you for bad sex you gave her the night before.

Greg
 
AH332
Posts: 196
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:10 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 4:07 am

Hi,

Thank you very much for another, very entertaining, TR! I hesitate to say this, but my friend you are an ass, but I absolutely love it!!! You had me cracking up the whole TR. I have read comments on other TRs you've written, and I feel some fail to appreciate your, shall I label it "dark humor". Feel free to add any other term, if it doesn't suit you.

Again, thanks for a great read!

Cheers,
Imad
Bledi Heya Al Djazaeer! // Next Flights: AB MIA-DUS-ORY, AF ORY-MRS-ALG
 
Ryanair!!!
Posts: 4127
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2002 8:55 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 6:27 am

What a wicked, absolutely wicked trip report. You are my kind of man...

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
This was not to be, however, as it turned out this congregation of 16 was part of the one family. I was shocked at the fertility of the elegant mother, as it is universally known that Singaporeans do not much care for intercourse. Alas, Lee Kuan Yew’s poster girl is here and waiting; legs splayed.

LOL... They obviously didn't do that survey with the gay population of Singapore.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
As someone with large feet, and yes, I can confirm the stereotype about large feet is correct, I cannot actually place my feet in a vertical position, having to flatten them at a 90 degree angle to the seat.

You cannot write that comment about big feet, and not expect a series of flutter to go off in other people's abdomen... Most notably mine. Note to yourself, if your feet are really that big, don't wear sharp-toe shoes on SQ A330 anymore otherwise there is really no way to fit them into that foot recess. Anyway sharp toe shoes are meant for short people who want to look tall. If tall people wear them they will end up looking like Ronald McDonald.

Your admitted lack of photography skills is well made up for by the acidic sarcastic humour which I find very refreshing from the run on the mill trip reports of mundane everyday "I did this... I went to the airport journey was ok... I checked in... I sat the the gate... I saw my plane... My plane took off... My plane levelled off... I took the chicken... My trays got cleared... My plane descened... I got off... I got my bags... I went home.... I slit my wrists..."zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Welcome to my starry one world alliance, a team in the sky!
 
docpepz
Posts: 1706
Joined: Thu May 24, 2001 8:20 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 4:50 pm

An excellent trip report. The best I've read (other than those that you've written previously!"

Your photography skills have not improved since your last trip report which is a shame, though not completely unexpected.

Strange that the food was so uniformly bad. My flights ex PER ex J and Y have had pretty good food, so perhaps it was just a bad day at QF Catering?

The service you received seemed to have been outstanding. I especially liked the "Mr Krisworld, I don't like seeing an empty glass. Please have another champagne!". So elegant!

Silly SQ Captains and their poor diction. Unfortunately their Chinese probably sucks as well. It's just typically Singaporean - in our quest to become effective bilingual in two languages, we have become effectively semi-literate, unable to be understood in any language!

Congratulations on actually being able to use MY photobucket account to paste photos in. Shame on you for being cheap and not wanting to buy more bandwith. That's US$3 please!

Now that you know the immense effort it takes to write trip reports...... it looks like you're not going to be writing another one in a long while? T'is a pity.
 
ojas
Posts: 1193
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:23 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 7:54 pm

Hi KrisworldB777,

Amazing just amazing, you really brightened up my sad day!!! Thank you so much!
It is so refreshing to read your TR's.

Though the pictures you clicked are good ( I'm not trying to be diplomatic but the real characterization of your pictures comes as "Not bad" or "satisfactory". But the enhanced comments are because you like SQ very much :P)

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
Your admitted lack of photography skills is well made up for by the acidic sarcastic humour which I find very refreshing

 checkmark 

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I procrastinated for as long as I could, but only the day before travel did I actually confirm my flights, aboard my beloved Singapore Airlines.



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I was compelled to ask if she was from Niugini given her flair for artistic modifications to the body that can only be mirrored by young, twenty-something Asian boys who feel compelled to make their Honda Civics into Lamborghini Murcielago competitors. Her artistic temperament was obviously relegated to the backburner today, as she handed me my boarding pass within 90 seconds, without indulging in any form of tree-hugging hippy behaviour.



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
snoring like a Labrador.

LOL.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I am guessing this as I haven’t the faintest clue what he was saying. As he rambled on in some incomprehensive Hokkien dialect, I imagined where this taxi driver had come from. It took a mere seven seconds for me to envision thi Coffee Shop Unker, working in a hawker centre, serving mee goreng and other great Singaporean dishes to largely unappreciative customers



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
but I suspect it was because the Pilot was trying to decipher what the instruments meant due to Airbus’ gross insensitivity of not providing Chinese characters for its instruments.

ROFL!

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
run on the mill trip reports of mundane everyday "I did this... I went to the airport journey was ok... I checked in... I sat the the gate... I saw my plane... My plane took off... My plane levelled off... I took the chicken... My trays got cleared... My plane descened... I got off... I got my bags... I went home.... I slit my wrists..."zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

LMAO  rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 
Great leaders don't tell you what to do ... they show you how it's done!
 
SurfandSnow
Posts: 1634
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 7:09 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:57 pm

Man oh man! What a hilarious trip report. Comments like this -

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I love Chinese people: that aromatic blend of oyster and soy sauce is one of life’s true pleasures

and this -

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I dislike peasants, and my thoughts are well documented on this dire subject. And these people were peasants

as well as this -

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
After about five glasses of red wine, I decided to board, hoping to escape the smell of death.

and best of all this -

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
brainwashed into thinking that she was actually a capable human being.

are right up my alley! Job well done. You should work for the Onion or something.
Flying in the middle seat of coach is much better than not flying at all!
 
SQ772
Posts: 1647
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2001 5:16 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:28 am

Outstanding report. Love your ability to pull readers into the dreadful experience on that equally dreadful airline. I love your dark humour, and flair for making the most mundane flight seem like an Indiana Jones adventure. You don't see enough of such reports here in a.net anymore.

Sorry about those dreadful photos though... you are right, it's not worth buying a photobucket account to store them  

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
And these people were peasants. I say this for three reasons: first, one man took great pleasure in spitting on the admittedly hideous carpet.

Peasants with extremely deep pockets I might add, passengers that I'm sure every Duty Free sales assistant would love. Perhaps in view of the high number of peasants passing through PER (or any Australian airports), spittoons should be placed all over the terminal building.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
At our scheduled departure time, our Captain made an address to provide some details. I am guessing this as I haven’t the faintest clue what he was saying. As he rambled on in some incomprehensive Hokkien dialect

It's about time those Captains are given proper training in making announcements. I've heard some delightful and wonderfully dictioned announcements from Singaporean, Caucasian, South Asian captains - I could actually feel their enthusiasm in embarking on a journey with their fellow passengers. I've also heard similarly woeful announcements by other Singaporean, Caucasian, Indian captains that have led me to worry if anyone in ATC would be able to comprehend them...

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
.... elegant mother, as it is universally known that Singaporeans do not much care for intercourse. Alas, Lee Kuan Yew’s poster girl is here and waiting; legs splayed.

LOL... They obviously didn't do that survey with the gay population of Singapore. You cannot write that comment about big feet, and not expect a series of flutter to go off in other people's abdomen... Most notably mine

Control yourself Ryanair!!! This isn't the place to reveal what you do behind closed shower cubicles, legs splayed and all....   

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
I find very refreshing from the run on the mill trip reports of mundane everyday "I did this... I went to the airport journey was ok... I checked in... I sat the the gate... I saw my plane... My plane took off... My plane levelled off... I took the chicken... My trays got cleared... My plane descened... I got off... I got my bags... I went home.... I slit my wrists..."zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm sure Mr Krisworld777 loves such reports...they help his TRs stand out from the crowd.

[Edited 2009-09-08 19:44:00]
There's always a better way to fly...
 
Ryanair!!!
Posts: 4127
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2002 8:55 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:56 am



Quoting SQ772 (Reply 7):
Control yourself Ryanair!!! This isn't the place to reveal what you do behind closed shower cubicles, legs splayed and all....

Hmm... me in the shower cublicle with my legs splayed... Dont make me look like a slaughtered Norman Bates victim at Bate's Motel, please. First, I look silly in a shower cap. Secondly, I do not scream like a woman.
Welcome to my starry one world alliance, a team in the sky!
 
krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:06 pm

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm glad some of you enjoyed the report, and were not too offended by my dark humour.

Quoting AH332 (Reply 2):
I hesitate to say this, but my friend you are an ass, but I absolutely love it

I thank you for the accurate character assessment!

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
You cannot write that comment about big feet, and not expect a series of flutter to go off in other people's abdomen... Most notably mine

Please note that abdomen flutters are not permitted on airliners.net forums. Please abide by this rule in future.

Nevertheless, I believe I should be granted an honourary award from the Singaporean government for increasing your heart rate!

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
If tall people wear them they will end up looking like Ronald McDonald.

My idol!

Quoting Docpepz (Reply 4):
Your photography skills have not improved since your last trip report which is a shame, though not completely unexpected.

Yes, I've given up all hope of actually being able to take decent photographs. It's just not going to happen. It wasn't helped on this trip that I was using my Iphone (waiting for uproar from the skilled photographers on the forum)

Quoting Docpepz (Reply 4):
Congratulations on actually being able to use MY photobucket account to paste photos in. Shame on you for being cheap and not wanting to buy more bandwith. That's US$3 please!

I thank you for the generosity. You should know that being stingy is an inherent part of my nature. Indeed it is a hobby!

Quoting Ojas (Reply 5):
Though the pictures you clicked are good

I thank you for the comment, but you really are FAR too kind!

Quoting SQ772 (Reply 7):
you are right, it's not worth buying a photobucket account to store them

HARSH! But so true!
 
Marara
Posts: 637
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2001 11:29 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:04 pm



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
First, because I have a passionate distaste for taking photos within an aircraft, as the more unkind people around me are certain to label me a freak.

What kind of freak would that be....? a planefreak ?  Wink

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
aboard my beloved Singapore Airlines.

QF is reading, watching and listening and is not impressed at all. You will probably be punished...
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome
 
ycp81
Posts: 725
Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2006 4:07 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:18 pm



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
and a Flight Stewardess who spent most of her time in the galley

Maybe that explains the dry and tough satay and beef. Usually, galley work is done by a flight steward and in this case, the less experienced FSS must have overheated the meals.
My past and future travels - http://www.ba97.com/ba97/calendar/report.asp?handle=ycp81
 
palmjet
Posts: 1231
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2001 2:35 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:42 pm

Oh i really loved this report. Thanks so much for posting. I am booked to fly SQ J in November between LHR and BNE. Like you, I will forced to endure such a dreadful experience on the A330 between BNE and SIN. I can hardly wait though... thanks for giving me an insight into what I might expect. However, I am concerned with what I am going to do with my size 10.5 feet!
Eastern - Number One To The Sun
 
ba319-131
Posts: 8317
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 1:27 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:24 pm

What a fantastic read, I've never laughed so much when reading a TR, the 'dark humor' really works to my liking, still laughing now!

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
one man took great pleasure in spitting on the admittedly hideous carpet

- This is one of the thinks I dislike about the Chinese.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
Despite being about as inspiring as Gordon Brown, Perth’s Silver Kris is a relatively peaceful place to be. It is devoid of character. It is devoid of any mod cons and the food is dreary, like something you’d get on a picnic when your wife is punishing you for bad sex you gave her the night before.

- This is perhaps the best line I have ever read, where do your thoughts come from?

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
The Indian Leading Steward was particularly friendly on the ground. Seeing my empty champagne glass, he commented “I don’t like seeing an empty glass, please Mr Krisworld, have another champagne”. Aaah, my sort of chap.

- Yep, sounds like my kind of chap too!

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
Having had two glasses of champagne, the Queen of Yorkshire passed out, snoring like a Labrador. I suspect she wasn’t used to bubbles.

- Just funny, real funny!

Brilliant stuff, I'm still smiling now!

Cheers

Mark
111 732 733 734 735 736 73G 738 739,7M8 BBJ 741 742 743 744 752 753 762 763 764 772 77L 773 77W L15 D10 D30 D40 AB3 AB6 312 313 318 319 320 20N 321 21N 332 333 342 343 345 346 359 351 388 CS1 CS3 I86 154 SSJ CRJ CR7 CR9 CRK 145 170 175 220
 
TUNisia
Posts: 1515
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:24 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:07 am



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I was met by a lesbian covered in tattoos and piercings.



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I was inflicted with a group of Chinese tourists travelling in a group



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I dislike peasants



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
hideous old person smell among younger, more sprightly individuals such as myself.



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
Upon reaching my seat, I found a woman, which was a truly shocking revelation



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
As he rambled on in some incomprehensive Hokkien dialec

My imagination ran wild whilst reading your TR. Thanks so much for taking the time to share it with us all.

TUNisia
Someday the sun will shine down on me in some faraway place - Mahalia Jackson
 
pewpew320
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:25 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:18 am

Best. TR. EVER.

That is all.
 
Lufthansa
Posts: 2639
Joined: Thu May 20, 1999 6:04 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:14 pm

Ahh My dearest Krisworld777, were ever have you been all this time my boy?

We've missed you're creative genius! Nobody else does it quite anything like it or anything as good. I still laugh this day when I read those two SingaporeAir spoof trip reports. They were the bloody funniest thing that ever was posted on this site. The stuff of legends! Truely outstanding!

So, if you can possibly bring yourself to grace us all occasionally just a tad more... well even if the Queen of Yorkshire does, We, you're public here at A.net love you!

An outstanding Success and a big thumbs up!
 
krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regiona

Sat Sep 12, 2009 3:26 am

Many thanks everyone for the continued feedback.

Quoting Marara (Reply 10):
QF is reading, watching and listening and is not impressed at all. You will probably be punished...

Alas, I'm pleased to advise that Qantas is still on my beloved list too.

Quoting Ycp81 (Reply 11):
Usually, galley work is done by a flight steward and in this case, the less experienced FSS must have overheated the meals.

This did enter my mind at the time. It could well be the case, but I was less inclined to think so as I don't think my veal was veal at all: it was simply a lump of beef.

Quoting Lufthansa (Reply 16):
Ahh My dearest Krisworld777, were ever have you been all this time my boy?

Locked in a dungeon far far away, being punished for my last rendezvous in the trip reports section of this website, my good friend. Needless to say, I wasn't offered any photography lessons whilst in captivity!



Once again everyone, thanks for comments.
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11623
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:07 pm

Once again a spectacular report with many amusing anecdotes and observations along the way ! As always your command and manipulation of the spoken word is unmatched.

KUDOS.

The service on Singapore Airlines is excellent isn't it. I do miss it greatly.
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:34 pm



Quoting SInGAPORE_AIR (Reply 18):
The service on Singapore Airlines is excellent isn't it. I do miss it greatly.

Perhaps it is time for you to return to the Orient, Singapore_Air!
 
directorguy
Posts: 1410
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:58 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:46 pm

Great TR. Amazing. You're like the Pucci Galore of a.net (FTers should catch the reference). As always, your TRs are a blast. Thanks for sharing !
Regards,
DG

PS-I read that TR 1-2 weeks ago, and ever since, I've been meaning to write something worthy of your wit and prose. Took me long enough xD...sorry for the delay :S
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11623
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:40 pm



Quoting KrisworldB777 (Reply 19):
Perhaps it is time for you to return to the Orient

Perhaps it's time for you to book a Suite for me on Singapore Airlines to do so  Wink

Quoting Directorguy (Reply 20):
You're like the Pucci Galore of a.net (FTers should catch the reference).

Haha - agreed !
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regiona

Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:02 pm



Quoting SInGAPORE_AIR (Reply 21):
Perhaps it's time for you to book a Suite for me on Singapore Airlines to do so

I'm not sure SIA would cope with another of your epic 375-page trip reports if I were to do that!
 
a1ring23
Posts: 170
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:25 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Sat Sep 19, 2009 1:18 pm

Anthony, another side-splitting report, thank you!

Finally got some time to sit down and read this.

LOL you managed to take a photo of immigration!!! Nice.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
It is devoid of any mod cons and the food is dreary, like something you’d get on a picnic when your wife is punishing you for bad sex you gave her the night before.

Classic.

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I had high hopes for Matt Moran’s signature dish. But it was an abomination. A disgrace. An insult. A hideous slab of tasteless, dry beef devoid of any redeeming feature whatsoever.

PER catering for you. You'll get better out of SIN for sure...

Cheers,
Pete
Where's the accelerometer on this thing?
 
krisworldB777
Topic Author
Posts: 556
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2000 10:28 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regiona

Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:25 pm



Quoting A1ring23 (Reply 23):
Anthony, another side-splitting report, thank you!

Cheers Pete, glad you enjoyed it.

Quoting A1ring23 (Reply 23):
PER catering for you. You'll get better out of SIN for sure...

Strange isn't it, because I've had pretty good luck so far. This year I've had 8 QF and 4 SQ sectors ex PER, but this is the first complaint I've had. I recall you saying you weren't impressed with your SQ food a couple of months ago, so perhaps that was the start of a particularly miserable downward trend.

Nevertheless, of the other SQ stations I've visited recently (FRA, DME, SIN, HKG) the food has been pretty top-notch which would lead me to believe it's not a wider SIA problem.
 
docpepz
Posts: 1706
Joined: Thu May 24, 2001 8:20 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:23 am

Is QF the only inflight caterer ex PER? I know SQ got rid of QF as their ground handling agent Australia-wide but kept QF as their caterer. Has that changed recently?
 
YOW346
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:41 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:25 am

I love, love, love, loved it! What's life without spice? A photoessay of a trip on an airplane goes to "the next level" when it is infused with the character of the writer. That's what writing is. Transferring emotion on to the pages, NOT just letters and words.

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 3):
You cannot write that comment about big feet, and not expect a series of flutter to go off in other people's abdomen... Most notably mine

You have a fan!

Quoting KrisworldB777 (Thread starter):
I was, however, troubled that I had entered a morgue: the lounge was full of old men who really should have died about 400 years ago, rather inflicting that hideous old person smell among younger, more sprightly individuals such as myself.

This is how I felt at the domestic Maple Leaf Lounge at YYZ a couple of weeks ago. To counter it, I did as you did, and had about seven glasses of wine and three glasses of beer to celebrate my barely-legal-drinking-age drinking in the presence of dinosaurs. Do I remember getting on my next plane? No. But more importantly, I don't remember the terrible dinosaur scent of the MLL. It all smells like Pinot Grigio in my memory.

Keep on writing with a sharpened pen,

YOW346
 
caleb1
Posts: 548
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:51 am

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Fri Dec 25, 2009 4:54 am

This is one TR that doesn't need pictures, although they are greatly appreciated. The text alone is absolutely brilliant! I thoroughly enjoyed this report from beginning to end. Excellent!!
 
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fca767
Posts: 1321
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:29 pm

RE: Onwards & Upwards: PER-SIN In SQ's New Regional J

Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:28 pm

What! nooooo Singapore is the best...I love the food Embarrassment Maybe it was your pallet Big grin

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