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Guest

This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:40 am

Most of you have read the scare mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend", this is not. It's happening everywhere, every day. Please share this warning with your friends. It's happened to me, and you may already be a victim!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been truly, if not imperfectly, mine?

Whose thighs were these? What happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer searching for them. I looked, in vain, at pools and beaches, anywhere that I might find female limbs exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and control tights.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new bum (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my bum complements my legs, lump for miserable lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would remain in style.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arm swung to and fro with the motion of a hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly one section at a time.

In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my t-shirts. What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing to do with it! Age was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked! Repeatedly and without warning.

That's why I've decided to share my story. Women of the World Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!! That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using!

You can look in the mirror and know where they are getting their replacement parts! The next time you hear that someone has had a "face lift" look closely---was it lifted from you??? Check out those tummy tucks and buttock lifts.

Look familiar? Are those your eyelids over there?

I think I have finally found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid good money for them!!

This is not a HOAX! This is happening to women all over the world. Share this warning with the women you love!




 
Guest

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:53 am

...or you could just try exercizing.


-Normal
 
Continental
Posts: 5223
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2000 3:46 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:27 am

You are a fricken NUT.

co
 
b757300
Posts: 3914
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2000 10:27 pm

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:33 am

"I have mother's thighs, I...have to accept that."  Laugh out loud

(Anyone remember where this comes from?)
"There is no victory at bargain basement prices."
 
MD-90
Posts: 7836
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:47 am

That dumb commercial where the guys are all getting in touch with their out of shape side. The guy who said that was sitting on a barstool and just acting sort of accepting/remorseful. I don't remember what the commercial was trying to sell, however.
 
aa61hvy
Posts: 13021
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 9:21 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 10:38 am

ADG-Go jogging/walking.. Eat better also. Remember your age, sometimes you can't change time's course.
Go big or go home
 
Guest

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 10:43 am

 Laugh out loud

*chuckle*





ADG
 
EGGD
Posts: 11884
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:01 am

Use Nivea Pantene Pro V plus or whatever.

That'll make your hair silky and full of volume, your skin feel younger and without wrinkles and will firm up your skin!
 
aa61hvy
Posts: 13021
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 9:21 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:16 am

Do you work at the Cosmetic Counter EGGD?  Wink/being sarcastic
Go big or go home
 
airplay
Posts: 3369
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 1:58 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:27 am

I've noticed that I'm growing hair in places that never had any. It's great though. I never had any chest hair, but now I just let the hair on my shoulders and back grown long and comb it over. Now my wife can run her hands through my "chest hair".

And why does God suddenly think I need hair in my ears? Is evolution preparing me with some kind of defense mechanism? Will that extra ear hair bind with the wax and give me natural ear plugs so I don't have to listen to Eminem?

 
MxCtrlr
Posts: 2312
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2001 11:22 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 2:12 pm

As my dear Aunt once said to me (and I think she stole this line from Erma Bombeck), with the flab sagging from her arms, she's no longer a limbed female, she's now Rocky the Flying Squirrel (Moose & Squirrel - Its always about Moose & Squirrel - Boris Badenov)!

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
 
IMissPiedmont
Posts: 6199
Joined: Wed May 23, 2001 12:58 pm

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 2:49 pm

OK enough negative. My girlfriend, youngest woman in relative terms I've ever date (she's only 40). feels the same. For some unfathomble reason she thinks she's lost her looks. I've seen pictures of her at 20, 25 and 35 yeras of age and she is far more beautiful now than in any of those pictures. She worries about things that I don't while overlooking my advancing years, except my white hair. For some reason, that bothers her. But I earned it.

Anywhoo, why do women criticize themselves but accept a mans aging? ADG, I assure you that you are every bit as beautiful as you may have been 20 years ago.

PYM, if you see this, I love you!

Steve
The day you stop learning is the day you should die.
 
sccutler
Posts: 5843
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2000 12:16 pm

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:26 pm

Steve:

Kudos to you for posting the truth: Women are rarely correct in their own critical self-assessments. I know what I see when I look at my wife (of twenty years as of last Wednesday), and it's the good stuff.

ADG, you are a whole person, not a collection of "parts" (thighs, bum, boobs, etc.) and, while I am sure that you are joking in your post, be sure you don't buy that crap for yourself.

Many young women (girls, really) are provocative to look at, but are (as my friend GQ puts it) "tits on a stick." Give me, any day, a true woman, built of alluring curves, mysterious eyes, a searing wit.

The boys can keep the girls, I prefer women.
...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
 
Guest

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Tue Apr 15, 2003 9:34 pm

Hmmm.. thanks for all the advice guys, you do realise don't you that this is a take off of the "bath full of ice without your kidneys" story?

 Laugh out loud

Personally I can see advantages in a saggy bum (comfy seat) and quite frankly in Canberras winter my knees will not suffer from the cold  Laugh out loud

Anyone who thinks being young is better than middle age hasn't got to middle age yet. I'd rather be here saggy tits and all then back where I was when I was 21 for oh so many reasons.

 Laugh out loud




ADG
 
Greg
Posts: 5539
Joined: Sat May 28, 2005 1:11 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 2:52 am

Don't let anybody tell you different:
Young is better than old.
It's a Hell of a lot nicer to be 20 than 30!
Anyone else is just masking their 'age issue'
 
Guest

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 4:05 am

LAME  Yeah sure


DeltaASA16
 
flight152
Posts: 3509
Joined: Fri Nov 24, 2000 8:04 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 5:05 am

There is always face lifts and plastic surgery available.

Must be an American thing.  Big grin
 
Guest

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 6:26 am

Greg,

that's just sad ... you're right though there are people who cannot cope with growing old .. they have my pity because they're never going to be happy.





ADG
 
sccutler
Posts: 5843
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2000 12:16 pm

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:04 am

Being young was great.

But maturing has its advantages as well.

When I head home at the end of the day, walk in and see my wife, it is with pleasant anticipation, not indifference or dread. She was a babe the day I met her, and she's one today, in many ways more appealing than ever.

Would I trade her in on a new model? Not on your life!
...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6796
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: This Is Serious Women's Business!

Wed Apr 16, 2003 1:07 pm

And yet once a day, I have my older patients telling me, "Doc, don't get old!"
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st

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